So, let me tell you the plan as it was supposed to unfold. We would be moving to Italy, the land of that fantastic Mediterranean cuisine, which, in its gastronomic perfection, is supposed to be one of the most healthy diets on the planet. This, coupled with the facts that we would routinely be taking our evening "passegati" and routinely doing yoga together (The Bean's sister even bought me a yoga mat) meant that it wouldn't be long before we went from fluff to buff. Well, The Bean is learning to cook, and she's doing a pretty good job of it if i do say so myself (shhh don't tell her, she thrives on negative criticism rather than positive praise; this way she gets angry and tries to beat your ass to prove you're wrong, otherwise she just gets lazy), however, it's just too dam cold in the house to get naked and do yoga (I won't do it with clothes on, sorry them's the rules), and there is no place to walk to after dinner that is nice enough to get us out of the house (Lucrino isn't Ascoli that's for fucking sure!). So, our plans have been waylaid a little. All this is nothing compared to the dark force that has cast a shadow over our lives. This evil was born in norther Italy after WWII when chocolate was in short supply, and has gone on to infect most of the world in the short time since then. Yes, I am talking about that that creamy crack known as Nutella! It seems that The Bean has become one of Mr. Ferrero's whores; is it any wonder he's the richest man in Italy considered that have the population is enslaved by his creamy confection? With tears in my eyes I've watched my precious Beansy consume just shy of 2 kg of the stuff. Do the math people, 2 kg at 530 kcal/100 g is? That's right 10 600 calories! And I'm not adding in the fact that given that there are no Reese cups here she often sides Nutella with peanut butter! That translates to about 3 pounds of body fat, and we know where all that goes when it comes to The "mini J-Lo" Bean. I've signed her up for Nutellaholics anonymous.... I'm posting a picture of her empty jars, if they look like they have Nutella in them you are wrong, she scraped every last bit out of them, they now house things like tea and prunes.
Cris
